Blog of Bogg

And although it’s somewhat unrelated to the theme behind the program, its made me think about how people react too quickly to the idea of an adult having sex with a minor. Or more accurately; A person of consent having sexual relations with a person who is not past the age of consent.

When I was younger, if people were to bring up the idea of such a thing, I would be repulsed and immediately suggest paedophilia. However, my view on this topic has changed. The reason for this is because my views on the ‘age-gap’ discussion had changed, since I don’t see the problem with a 50 year old woman dating a 22 year old man, or whatever. There’s no problem with it; If that’s your sexual preference, or the person you’re in love with, who’s to say otherwise?

I thought further into this just now, and realised this discussion can also include a person who is under the age of consent. In my opinion, the age of consent is un-necessary since a lot of people haven’t, or wouldn’t adhere to it.  If a 17 year old has sex with a 15 year old, that makes them a paedophile? I wouldn’t say so.

What if the age gap is higher? What if the older party is 22? Is it ‘a little bit weird’? When you think about how old the older person was when the younger was born, that can make it a bit weird. And if the older was 30?

“When you were born, I was celebrating my 15th birthday.” - That can also make it seem a little weird. Some may read this and kick off about how I’m suggesting that a 30 year old having sexual relations with a 15 year old is ok, just read on a bit.

Consent is not to be decided by state law, this (in my opinion) is a violation of a human right. Additionally, the state is not so much concerned about the consent of the sexual relation itself, but of the age gap between those who are getting it on. If the state really did feel as strongly as it’s supposed to about the laws it creates, then it might as well lock up the several people I’ve an acquaintance for practising paedophilia. They may have had sex with a 15 year old at the age of 16. Paedophile? Shut up.

Perhaps a 15/24 year old couple are happy together? Maybe they took things slow, and it’s not all about sex? Love? Would none of these things be considered? Absolutely. And it’s not just the state who would discuss this topic without considering those factors.

However many people read this, someone’s bound to think; “Oh, so if a man has sex with a child/teenager, then he’s not a paedophile?”

Well that depends, did the child/teenager consent to a 30-odd year old man having sex with them? Perhaps not. Perhaps in the child/teenager’s mind he just met a friend on the interweb, and wanted him to come over and play. If the child explicitly states that he/she wants to have sex with said man, then who’s to say that the man is a paedophile? If the man ends up in court, and the child/teenager says to the judge, his family, and all witnesses; “Yes, I wanted to have sex with him.”

This topic becomes more and more controversial as the youngest party decreases in age. What if they don’t fully know what sex is? Perhaps their parents/school haven’t taught them about what sex actually is? Then I suppose yes, the older party is a paedophile for taking advantage of someone who doesn’t know what they’re consenting to. Yet for parties of a particular age group (Let’s say, 9-12), responsibility can fall upon the parents for not teaching their kids about sex at all. I learned about what sex was, and how it was performed when I was 8. For some it was later, and of course I continued to learn about it through Biology in school and porn.

Additional responsibility falls on the parents for not helping their children learn enough about safety in public, or web safety. Why didn’t they make sure of who the child is going to meet when they’re going out on their own? Why didn’t they monitor their web activity a little? Some parents are fooled by the idea of their son/daughter being perfect and safe, up until the day when they come home, crying, and telling them that a man they just met molested them.

Also, on the note of web activity. Whilst it can keep your child safe, it’s also important to know that they’re allowed their privacy as well. Check every now and again, but don’t make it awkward for them. Let them explore. The internet is mostly cool!

In conclusion, I believe the idea that people should find (state decided) non-consensual sex to be foul is wrong. I believe that reasonable consent from the persons involved in the relationship is far more important than some words written on paper. If a 15 year old boy wants to fuck a 40 year old woman, do it safe and have a fuck-load of fucking fun!

My mother has just been offered a council house in a town called Blaenavon.

The reason she’s taken it is because she can’t afford to stay much longer in the house we have now. This is fair enough, since I’m not in secondary education or under 18, meaning she no longer has tax benefits, child benefits etc.

I respect her decision to do this, she hasn’t a choice. This doesn’t, however, mean I want her to move to fucking Blaenavon.

In a month’s time, I’ll be isolated from my friends until the end of the summer, which is when I go back to uni. In order to prevent this, I’ve been looking up alternatives to getting around, since I have no driver’s license (and nor do I want one, really).

So I’ve been asking Mum for help with finding alternatives. She seems to think it’s as easy as ‘getting the bus to Caerphilly’, or ‘getting the bus to the nearest train station, and go from there’. It’s not that fucking simple. I’m not willing to spend £40 every time I want to see one of my friends.

I’ve made it clear, in a friendly manner that these alternatives would not be appropriate since they’re ridiculously expensive. Because I did this, she’s gone fucking ballistic because I’m not ‘supporting her enough’. How the fuck can I support a decision I despise? “Yes, Mum, just keep trying! Eventually we’ll get that small, shitty house in the middle of hicksville, Chavcounty, Middle of Fucking Nowhere, B0LL 0KC.”

My own mother won’t help me find an alternative. For fucks sake.

I even had a good job lined up in a computer shop. FINALLY, somewhere I WANT to work, and now I can’t even get that?

Moving the computer downstairs for 32” 1080p epicness.

Plenty of beer.

Lord of the Rings boxset.

Plugging the 5.1 surround into my computer, since my ‘board supports it.

Possibly moving my amp + guitars downstairs.

And Stef’s on half term.

labish:

I have no regrets making this.